Mom constantly ignores introvert kids' request to not announce their birthdays, they give her a taste of her own medicine: 'My brother and I kept this up for months'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Oct 12, 2025 10:00 PM EDT

Some people just don't want to be the center of attention. 

They hate it, and that's hard for other folks to understand. Some people wait all year until the day when everyone around them legally has to pay attention to them. They have to make you feel special, and they shower you with gifts and love. Some folks wish that could be every day, and there's nothing wrong with that. But a large swath of other kinds of people dread that day, all the other days of the year. They shrink under the spotlight, wishing nobody would look at them. The idea of being the center of attention makes them feel like a zoo animal, and not in a good way. Both types of people are valid, but unfortunately, both types of people have birthdays. And both types of people usually exist in the same family. It's just the laws of physics. 

One pair of siblings was the type that didn't want to make a big deal out of their birthdays. Their mom, however, was the other type of person. At least she thought. 

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  • A group at a restaurant celebrate someone's birthday.
    via Mario Verduzco

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • After their mother constantly ignored their requests to have a chill birthday, a pair of siblings came up with a plan. They would give the exact same treatment to their mother. She liked it at first, appreciating the attention, but it soon grew sour. Read on for the full story and see what you think. 

  • Mom ignored me asking her not to announce my birthday at restaurants...

    My brother and I are both the kind of people that don't like to be the center of attention. For our birthdays we would go out for dinner and our mom would tell the servers that it was our birthday so they would come our and do what ever the restaurant's birthday song is. We hated this and we would constantly ask her not to
    via u/bingc710
  • do it. She would smile and laugh and say OK then do it anyway and make some excuse about how she just wanted to celebrate our birthday's. My brother and I got sick of this so we started telling the servers it was our mom's birthday on random meals. the servers would come out singing happy birthday and mom would look around to see who's
    via u/bingc710
  • birthday it was only to have them come to her. My brother and I kept this up for months. The final straw for her was when we were out for my dad's dinner and the servers came to her singing happy birthday. My dad thought it was funny and my mom finally agreed to stop.
    via u/bingc710
  • Edit to add that this happened when I was a teen in the 90's. It's been over 20 years since anyone in my family has done this to anyone.
    via u/bingc710
  • A group of well-dressed people gather around a table to celebrate a woman's birthday.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Commenters congratulated them on their efforts.

    • cpdena 13h ago My mom would do this. I HATED it. She also insisted she was "29" well into my 40s. I finally got her to stop the birthday shenanigans when I told her "If you tell them it's my birthday, I'll tell them how old I am and that you're my mom". Ha!
    via u/cpdena
  • tonysnark81 • 13h ago My now-ex brother-in-law did that to me once, after I'd specifically warned him I didn't want it done, and that I'd get up in the middle of the whole thing and walk out. He did it anyway, and I walked out before they ever started singing. I asked the hostess to pass my apologies to the servers, who had no idea of my extreme dislike of being the center of attention, and left.
    via u/tonysnark81
  • Ogeron 13h ago . I hate being the center of attention too, and just the thought of being announced like that makes my anxiety spike. Went out to dinner for mine and my aunt's birthday since we're only two days apart. We had
    via u/Ogeron
  • some kind of birthday dessert coupon or something, and she let the waiter know that we had it for our birthday. I was quick to ask him that if they did the birthday song thing, to not do it because of my social anxiety. He was very chill and understanding, but still wished us both a good birthday.
    via u/Ogeron
  • _Sammy7_13h ago You should've upped the revenge factor a bit by adding ten years to her age.
    via u/_Sammy7_
  • flutterby727 • 13h ago "Use the restroom" when you first get there, then go tell the greeter either that's she's lying about it being your birthday embarrass you or be truthful and say your mom is going to tell them it's your birthday, but you hate the attention and don't want to be singled out.
    via u/flutterby727
  • dragonrose7 • 12h ago It is a cherished family memory, the year my husband and kids took me out to Joe's Crab Shack for my birthday dinner, and told the waiter it was my birthday. Not only did far too many wait staff come to my table to sing, I was made to stand up and do
    via u/dragonrose7
  • the hula hoop while they sang for me. If you drop the hula hoop, they start over. I can't hula hoop. It was horrible, and unending. The children loved it.
    via u/dragonrose7
  • ruraljurorsacklunch - 12h ago I had a boss who took our team out for my birthday to Chili's. She asked the waiter to get them to sing "Happy Birthday." I told him there's an extra $20 in your tip if you don't. Absolutely worth it.
    via u/ruraljurorsacklunch
  • • Impossible_Balance11 · 11h ago In my family of five, only two of us like the whole song-&- dance-from-the-servers kind of attention--so us extroverts RESPECT the wishes of the introverts.
    via u/Impossible_Balance11
  • Came up with a great solution on my husband's last birthday. While he went to the restroom, I prepped the kids. When he came back, I held up fingers: one-two-three...and we launched into a completely silent singing of the birthday song. He loved it, felt celebrated, and no one outside our party had a clue.
    via u/Impossible_Balance11
  • WardOnTheNightShift 13h ago • MMoooOOooOOoMM!! Please stop lying about my birthday to get free cake!
    via u/WardOnTheNightShift
  • deFleury 13h ago • My parents used to say if I didn't behave myself, they would take me to a restaurant for my birthday and let all the waiters sing!
    via u/deFleury
  • Speak_To_Wuk_Lamat 12h ago Some servers came out with a cake for my mother's 70th, only they didn't go to my mother.. They went to the other grandma who is 30 years younger but looks older than my mother. She was p ed!
    via u/Speak_To_Wuk_Lamat
  • grocerygirlie • 9h ago My wife has told me she will absolutely divorce me if I EVER do this to her. And I believe her. She has two hard boundaries, and they are no public birthday announcements and no shoving cake in her face at our wedding. We didn't have a big wedding or
    via u/grocerygirlie
  • cake, so that was fine. But every single time this happens to someone in a restaurant, she gives me the meanest look and says that if I EVER do that to her, she is divorcing me. She has ended friendships over it. Like, bffs, public birthday, never speaks to that person again in her entire life. I did encourage her to talk about it in therapy, lol, but otherwise it's an easy boundary to follow.
    via u/grocerygirlie
  • BigAway 3098 · 9h ago • My sister tried this ONCE. I noticed the staff gathering to do the song, I just got up and left the table and the restaurant. Got in my car and drive off. Didn't say goodbye just drove away
    via u/BigAway3098
  • SafiiriNoir 12h ago • Rock on OP, seriously. My mom used to pull this cr p on my brother and I. The worst one was when I was 14, we were at Planet Hollywood and the server decided to "make it even better" by quieting the entire 2 floor restaurant to announce my birthday. Never been so mortified in my life
    via u/SafiiriNoir
  • Will say, I finally got her to stop using a similar strategy to yours, only I did every single meal we went out for on a family vacation. Breakfast, lunch dinner, heck the Coldstone people even got in on it when we got ice cream. She broke on day 6 of the 10 day vacation and hasn't done it to me since, and it's been almost 20 years
    via u/SafiiriNoir
  • digitaldigdug • 13h ago That's why I never go out on my birthday
    via u/digitaldigdug
  • Winterfaery14 • 12h ago Oh my goodness! I always ask my kids if they want the "birthday treatment" from the restaurant; I'd never insist on doing that to them, if they weren't on board!
    via u/Winterfaery14
  • LadyA052 10h ago . "It's not really my birthday. My friend/mom/spouse just thinks it's funny to do this. I'm sorry they're wasting your time." Even if it IS your birthday.
    via u/LadyA052
  • hallerz87 10h ago • Remember being like 9 and parents took me to Planet Hollywood for birthday treat. Told them on the way in, "Please don't sing happy birthday to me". Well... not only did they sing for me but I also was made to stand on chair as the whole restaurant turned to me as they turned lights off and brought out a cake. I was a very shy kid. I can still recall the fear 30 years later!
    via u/hallerz87
  • Weary-Astronaut1335 8h ago . As an adult I've left the restaurant. Friends knew I didn't want it, they told the waiter, I told the waiter that if anyone came out singing I was going to bounce, they thought they called a bluff.
    via u/Weary-Astronaut1335
  • Environmental-Ear391 12h ago My own mother did crop like this too... and would not stop talking even during any special events for it just for wanting everyone to listen to her.
    via u/Environmental-Ear391
  • the only way out was to go full NC on the day of and walk away whenever she started being an attention hog. no excuses, no cr p, your birthday so your rules. any "do it anyway" excuses is just their own egotesticular stroking for attention regardless of consequences.
    via u/Environmental-Ear391
  • Tenzipper 9h ago • I despise restaurants that make a fuss over birthdays or any other "occasion." Thankfully, I've never had it inflicted on me personally. (Knock on wood.) Bring out a free or special dessert, comp a bottle of wine, discount a meal, or whatever, and quietly wish the person happy whatever, or congratulations, or what have you.
    via u/Tenzipper
  • one2tinker • 12h ago Once many years ago, some friends told the waitress it was my birthday. I must have been in the bathroom or something because I had no idea. Pretty soon the waitress comes over and says "I hear we have a birthday over here!" I completely panicked because I thought I had somehow forgotten one of their birthdays, and I was like "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, is it your birthday?"
    via u/one2tinker
  • Then I was kicked under the table...and realized they were pretending it was my birthday. I very unconvincingly said, "Oh, right, it's my birthday." I turned down the ice cream, but I did get a balloon and an embarrassing story that they told everyone. Lol.
    via u/one2tinker

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